Why You Shouldn’t Order from Me

This page is a speed bump.  It is one of many on this web site.  It is meant to slow you down before you buy.  This is the opposite business model of most websites, which try to get you to turn off your brain and buy things as fast as possible.  This becomes a habit after a while.  Many of the plants that I sell are tricky to grow.  There is information here that will help you to make decisions about what will perform best for you.  There is information here that will help you to understand the timing of your order.  There is information here that might very well convince you not to order.  I want you to buy things from me, but I want you to buy things that will be successful and make you happy.

This is a one man operation and the one man is chronically disorganized, slow, uncommunicative, and sometimes grumpy.  My customer service is not great.  Actually, sometimes it probably is great, but not reliably.  If you order from me once, everything might go smoothly.  If you order from me more than once, I am eventually going to screw up your order in some way.  There is a lot that can go wrong in this business and so there is often something to be unhappy about.  Anxious, aggressive, aggressively anxious, rigid, and non-reading people should probably not order from me.  It will be easier on both of us if you don’t.

The people who seem happiest dealing with me are those who read the website, take their time when deciding what to order, understand that I can’t control nature, are aware of my typical faults, and are flexible in the event of problems.  I’m not suggesting that there is something wrong with you for having high expectations; I’m just communicating the reality that I am unlikely to fulfill them. I’m trying to save both of us pain.  If what I have described makes you nervous, then you probably shouldn’t order.

(I am not suggesting that you will not be made whole in the event of a problem.  I am warning you that I am slow, disorganized, and uncommunicative, but not dishonest.  You can expect to receive your order or a refund, every time.)

4 thoughts on “Why You Shouldn’t Order from Cultivariable

  1. Kirby Fitch says:

    LOL, I love that being 58 that’s how I feel most days, but not all. :)

    Why you Shouldn’t Order from Me!
    So I am just getting started in Wisconsin, I like to grow stuff a little different than everyone else has and Oca seems like it. Do you have a not so Grumpy day to help a older guy get started? I noticed most everything is sold-out? I work for the Department of Corrections and I like to grow stuff as my out or downtime. Thanks hope you can help or point in in the correct direction.
    Kirby Fitch

    • bill says:

      Hi Kirby. There are still a few oca varieties in stock, but we are pretty much at the end of the tuber sales season. Check the In Stock Roots & Tubers category on the front page. Variety won’t make much difference in your climate. The summers should be OK. The hard part will be keeping them alive long enough in the fall to make tubers. You will probably need some kind of frost protection.

    • Lehrmanbon says:

      Kirby,
      At 66 and growing weird and wonderful things in Alaska, I am a patient and persistent woman. Looking forward to coaxing some of your products to life.

  2. kanta masters says:

    You are an AMAZINGLY TRANSPARENT person and I look forward to ordering from you.
    I hope you have much success and fulfillment from doing what you are doing! I live in middle Tennessee and hope I have the correct climate to grow Yakon. We sure got a lot of sweet potatoes this year and I’m hoping that will translate to Yakon!

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